Pull My Feelings In

Last night, I found myself in a situation where I could try on the challenge I offered up in this week’s positive thinking post on find. In the post, I asked that whenever we find ourselves in an unpleasant situation, that we change our mind about that situation, replace the negative vibes with positive vibes. Well … I didn’t do that. Until this morning. And, I have to say that, even as I write this, I am still working through the hurt and frustration.

You see, last night, I did not get my own way. I am not used to that. I made an offer and was turned down three times over. My feelings were hurt, and I was disappointed. While I tried to be okay, I was not. Now, I did do better in that I did not throw a hissy fit, but my feelings were very clear, nonetheless. (Side note: I’m a good guilt tripper. Not one of my best characteristics, but I’ve always used it to get my way. Last night, I did not. Progress, right?) But, I could not stop feeling hurt.

Add to that an additional responsibility I was hoping I wouldn’t have, and you’ve got one irritated girl.

I did not find the good in the moment. I don’t think I even prayed through the moment. I let my flesh simmer and pout. I gave into my human emotions. This morning, however, I am working on changing my mind. I am trying on a new perspective. When I sent out an invitation, I received three no’s. The hurt and disappointment had my mood plummeting in seconds. How many times, though, have I said no to Christ? How many times have I done the opposite of what He wanted? Yet He forgave me immediately and loved me anyway. He held nothing against me. I didn’t have to make anything up to Him.

He didn’t want me to react as I did last night, but I did, and He smiled down on me lovingly.

Then, when I was given the opportunity to do a good thing, I accepted the responsibility, grudgingly. Again, not what Christ would have done. I am certain He wasn’t happy with my attitude, but His love is constant, and, again, He forgave me.

This morning, He wants me to make amends. So, I am releasing my hurt over the rejection and I am going to go about my day happy that I am alive and well to accept the additional responsibility I was handed.

If you find yourself struggling with the challenge of finding good in an unpleasant situation, you are not alone. If I don’t work hard at this, the frustration and hurt could seep right back in. When I was a child and something didn’t go my way, my mother would tell me to pull my feelings in. J I think we handle these times by acknowledging the negative feelings (otherwise they’ll never go away), pulling them in and reviewing them, letting them have their moment, then releasing them to make room for goodness and joy. Sounds so simple, but it is oh so hard. We can do it though. We just have to …

Change our mind. Change our world.



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